Learn Chinese: culture of Unit 1

The Unit 1 dialogue is all about greetings. Let's take the opportunity to look at how Chinese people actually greet one another, because the picture we have of it in the West is often wrong.

1. How did people traditionally greet each other in China?

你好 nǐ hǎo is today the most widespread greeting, especially in cities and among the younger generations. It is not, however, how people traditionally greeted one another.

The customary phrases were far more concrete, and rooted in everyday life:

These are not real questions. They are polite formulas that fill exactly the slot of our "hello" or "how are you?". Nobody expects a rundown of your day: a smile and three words are enough.

你吃了吗？ says a great deal about the place of food in Chinese society. Through centuries of scarcity and famine, eating was the central question of existence; asking someone whether they had eaten was therefore the most direct way of showing concern for them. The phrase has lost its material dimension, but it has stayed.

You still hear it, above all among older people and in the countryside. I would be hard pressed to give you a precise age limit: it varies a great deal from one region to another. If an older Chinese person greets you with 你吃了吗？ or 你去哪儿？, whatever you do, don't answer seriously. Say 吃了！ Chī le! ("I've eaten!") or 出去一下。 Chūqu yīxià. ("I'm going out for a bit.") and that settles it. (I once watched a student launch into the full menu of his lunch. His companion was very patient.)

2. People don't greet with a kiss in China

In English-speaking countries the kiss on the cheek is rarer than in France, but a hug between friends or relatives is perfectly ordinary, and touching is part of the greeting. In China, none of that exists. To greet each other, people use:

  • a wave of the hand or a slight nod of the head, the most common and the most natural form in everyday life;
  • a handshake, now the norm in professional settings and in big cities. It is often gentler and longer than in the West: too firm a grip easily comes across as aggressive.

Physical contact therefore stays more limited than in the West. Be careful not to read coldness into it: it is a different social code, not a lack of warmth.

3. Pressed palms: a gesture that doesn't come from China

People readily associate China, and Asia more broadly, with the greeting made with palms pressed together in front of the chest and a bow of the head. Films and advertising have turned it into a handy shorthand, and many Westerners reproduce it in good faith when facing an Asian person.

China does have a joined-hands gesture, but it is a different one and it is used in specific situations. The 作揖 zuōyī is made with the right fist wrapped in the left hand, both hands raised slightly in front of you. It is a ceremonial salute: you see it at Chinese New Year and in the martial arts, hardly ever in the street.

Greeting a Chinese person with flat pressed palms therefore means offering them a gesture that isn't theirs. Nothing serious (nobody will take offence), but a handshake or a nod of the head hits the mark better.

4. 不客气: politeness between close ones

Unit 1 gives us two essential expressions: 谢谢 xièxie ("thank you") and 不客气 bù kèqi ("you're welcome"). You will find them again on the Vocabulary 1 page. The second one deserves a closer look.

客气 kèqi literally means "the manner of a guest" ⟶ to make a fuss, to keep to formal politeness. 不客气 therefore says: "don't stand on ceremony".

This little word carries an important social rule. In close relationships, within the family, between friends, between classmates, Chinese people make little use of polite formulas. Piling them up even creates an awkward distance: it amounts to treating someone close to you like a stranger.

Answering 不客气 to a 谢谢 is therefore an invitation to come back to the natural state of the relationship. A way of saying: "between us, there's no need for all that."

That said, usage is changing fast among young city dwellers, who say thank you far more than they did twenty years ago. Observe, and take your cue from the person in front of you.